Some times we have a yearning inside of us that will quite literally lock us up. I don’t mean sexually, I mean mentally.
We all have things we need and are scared to ask for. I learned how to say “Please, Sir”….
The stress of the day was beyond bearable. I wanted to scream, cry, and run at the same time. I stripped as soon as i walked in the door and jumped in the shower. The hot water was helping, but minimally.
The music was blasting through the stream, but my body was just not feeling it.
I washed, and exited the shower. Dried off, and dressed, I crawled into bed. Slowly i closed my eyes, and began to weep. The pillow catches the majority of my tears, and my body slowly shakes under the muffled cries.
I drifted off to sleep, and prayed tomorrow would be easier.
It was roughly 1 am when Sir came to bed. I woke, and looked at him. I couldn’t turn away. I wanted to beg him to hold me, to tell me i would be OK, but i couldn’t move.
“Whats wrong, love?” He asked.
I just shook my head. He had seen this look before. He knew what was wrong.
I couldn’t cry. I Wanted to so bad, but I couldn’t. My entire body was shut down, and i couldn’t tell him what was wrong or what i needed.
His hand reached out and brushed against my cheek, “I need you to tell me what you need from me. I need you to speak it.”
I closed my eyes and a small tear fell, i shook my head.
“I will lay here, right next to you, and I will hold you. But you and I both know what you need. I cannot give it to you unless you tell me.” His hand found mine, and he slipped his fingers between mine.
I opened my eyes and looked at him… his chest was bare, his jeans were still on, his belt undone. His beard was scruffy, clearly in need of a trim. His eyes were the perfect shade of green.
I closed my eyes again, and reached for his chest. I rested my hand there for a few moments, and before I knew it, i drifted off. Five minutes or five hours, i couldn’t tell. When i opened my eyes, he was still laying there, his fingers intertwined with mine, and my other hand resting on the bed in front of him.
His eyes opened, and he gave a slight smirk, “You feeling any better?” he whispered.
I shook my head, still unable to sleep. The stress of the day had seemingly rendered me mute.
He reached over, and cupped my face in his free hand, “You have to tell me, or i cannot help you.”
I closed my eyes, and decided, I had to tell him. I would count to three, and blurt it out.
Ok… one… two… three…. nothing. I tried. I couldn’t. I looked at him, and i started to cry again.
“I want so bad to make you feel better, but I have to know its ok.”
I counted again…
“Yes, i need it.” I whispered.
“Tell me what you need..” He said softly.
“I need you to break me open. Please, Sir” I began to feel dizzy.
He leaned over and kissed me in a way that was more comforting, that passionate.
“I want you to stand, undress, and lay on your stomach.” he instructed.
I followed the instructions.
He turned off all the lights, and added a blindfold to my eyes for good measure. He placed ear buds in my ear, and the soft music began to play, loudly.
I could not hear him, nor see him. I was in a black out.
Suddenly i felt the soft leather tracing from my neck to my ass. Then from my ass to my feet.
The flogger cracked against my skin. But there was a lack of pain. This contact, it was him reminding me.
Against my ass.
Against my thighs.
Nothing. For what seemed like forever, there was, nothing. The fear flooded me. Was he gone? I would never have heard the door. I would have heard nothing except the music blasting in my ears,
“Long ago, it seems so long ago
How young and innocent we were
She may not remember me
But I remember her”
I felt the hard, stiff leather strap running down my spine, down between my ass cheeks, and down my left thigh.
Back up my right leg, and across my ass. Then it was gone.
The leather strap hit across my ass and I could feel the sting instantly. I bit my lip.
Again, the sting was worse.
The burn began, and i could feel the welt rising.
His hand reached for mine, and i squeezed once, letting him know I was OK.
His hand moved, and i waited. Again, waiting for what seemed like forever.
“Angel I hear you
Speak, I listen
Stay by my side
Angel, my soul
Enter at last, master”
The strap hit so hard across my thighs that i let out a cry.
Again across my ass, and the tears began to fall.
I opened my mouth and knew the cries were louder than i could realize.
That was it… I began crying and i couldn’t stop. I reached ahead of me and gripped the sheets so hard and buried my face in the bed. I kept crying and couldn’t stop.
The ear buds were removed, the blindfold removed, and before i could protest he pulled me from the bed and was holding me so tight i couldn’t move. I sobbed into his chest and let go of everything i had endured that day.
He sat down on the bed and pulled me down. I laid next to him and cried.
He reached over, touched my face, and kissed me.
I lost my breath on his lips, but found my composure in his arms.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
“You don’t need to thank me. I know how to break you free, and I am all to happy to help.”