In my dreams… 

Sometimes when I think about you and how much I want to be next to you,  I can almost feel you laying between my legs,  my hands reaching for your jaw line,  my legs moving up to pull you near and close the space between us. 

Feeling your chest firm against mine,  my lips reaching for yours, and my hips arching up to slide you inside of me.  Feeling you fill me,  and exhaling against your lips. 

Moving my hips up and down,  helping you slide deeper,  slower,  pushing inside of me. 

Arching my hips to feel your skin pressing against my clit while you fill me. 

My insides quivering and beginning to shake while you move faster. My hands reaching down over your shoulders and my fingers gripping your skin. 

You moving faster,  pushing down deeper. 

I start breathing your name, begging for you to let me cum. 

You take my hands and hold them against the pillow above my head,  and you lean down and kiss me hard.  Pulling your lips away,  out of breath,  you tell me to cum. 

And at the same time,  you fill me and my insides tighten around you and release. 

And the best feeling of all that,  would be you collapsing on top of me,  and running my fingers slowly up and down your sweat covered skin. 


Things I wish you knew… 

I wish you knew… 

Every time you send me a selfie, I see more than your smile and eyes. 

I see the laughter flowing from your lips the night we smoked so much that I couldnt breath. I see the lines in the corner of your eyes,  and they remind me of the way you smiled at dinner.  I want to appreciate them,  and smooth them with my thumb at the same time. 
Every time you hug me,  I don’t just feel your arms. 

I feel a place I didn’t know existed. I feel a safety that I wasn’t sure was real.  I feel a calmness in all the anxiety I feel when I stand too close to you. I feel the buzz go calm,  and the rush od blood silence. 
Every time we have a conversation,  I don’t just heat your sentences. 

I hear your voice and fins its calm.  I hear your thoughts and get wraped up in how wonderful they are.  I hear your excitement when you speak about things you love.  I hear the honestly and innocents in your dreams. I hear your intelligence and think of how beautiful your mind is. 
I wish you could see all these things. 

I wish I could sit on the couch with you, in my pajamas,  and just do anything to make You laugh,  and feel loved. I would hold your hand as tightly as you hold my attention,  and smile each time you made my heart beat a little faster. 
I just wish you knew. 


I used to be a down looker 

I used to be one of those..  Down lookers. 

But then something amazing happened. 

I noticed the bright green moss growing on the tree stump while I was waking in the park one day. 

Then the blue sky caught my eyes through the bare branches. 

Then the cold turned warm,  and the green grass began to sprout flowers.  

I noticed then,  everything I had been missing in life.  

I noticed the leafs as they grew into the trees this spring. 

I noticed the way the buildings downtown rise and fall with the turn of the bus. 

I stepped outside a castle,  looked up at the stars,  and realized that I had seen them once before. 

I hiked a small embankment to a flat that was bumpy with tree roots,  and found soft earth,  and a soft place in my heart. 

I watched a fire grow as it was fed with laughter and energy,  not just dry wood. 

I found smiles,  genuine smiles,  that didn’t require a meme or short video to burst into laughter. 

I started to watch the clouds out of the window at work,  and wonder if anyone saw the same shapes I did. 

And I watched the full moon as it commanded our attention in the sky. 

I missed so much before then. 

Before I saw that green moss growing on that tree stump. 

I used to be a down looker.  But then I found a reason to look up.